Too Late
by Winn
Summary: Sara gives Grissom one last chance. What will he do with it? Right now is GS.
1. Goodbye Gil Grissom

Title: Too Late  
  
Author: Winn  
  
Spoilers: None ATM   
  
Disclaimer: Under no circumstances do I own CSI or any of it's characters.  
  
Note: I'm sorry for starting another fic before finishing the last one, but the next chapter of Unfair is on it's way. Promise.  
  
Part I - Goodbye Gil Grissom  
  
It was the begining of shift and Sara found herself standing in the doorway of Grissom's office staring at the sheer amount of paperwork on the overflowing desk. How did he keep track of it all? Not envying his job she got straight to the point.  
  
"Grissom, can we talk?" She asked.  
  
"I'm uh, really busy here Sara, Can it wait?......."  
  
It was so typical, every time she tried to straighten things out between them he avoided her with the skill of a man who had been doing it for nearly 2 years. When you loved somebody wheren't you supposed to want to spend time with them?  
  
"It's important Griss, how about breakfast after shift?" Her voice made it clear that he had no choice in the matter.  
  
Giving in, Grissom reluctantly nodded his head in agreement.  
  
"Fine. Great." She muttered before turning and heading towards the locker room to change.  
  
*****************  
  
It was a dead night. Well that is to say no one was dying. Sara spent the majority of shift working on a cold case and after going over it twice the reason it was cold was quite obvious. There was no physical evidence whatsoever to link the crime to the murderer. Glancing at the clock she sighed. Two more hours and she would be having breakfast with Grissom. This was his last chance she thought to herself as she bent over the evidence again.   
  
Not that she expected much from him, but she had to try just one more time before giving up for good. Hope was a dangerous thing; the absence of it hurt. But so does having it shredded to tiny bits time and time again, she reminded herself.  
  
Why was she still going over this evidence.  
  
"Your not going to find anything new this way Sara" she mumbled and was startled when she got an answer.  
  
"Why don't you take a break, then you can come back and look at it with fresh eyes. Though if it's the case I think it is your not finding anything cause there's nothing there."  
  
Turning she smiled at Nick who as always looked like a cowboy. How does he do that? I've seen hundreds of guys in jeans and a t-shirt but when he puts them on......  
  
"Well that depends is there coffee?" She asked aloud.  
  
From his vantage point in the doorway Nick studied Sara. There was definitly something wrong and it had nothing to do with the amount of weight she'd lost. Vowing to wheedle it out of her he responded in the affirmitive.  
  
"Yep sure is, Greg just made a fresh pot and I'll even share my doughnuts with you." Greg always made the best coffee and even though he wasn't hungry he was going to make sure she ate something.  
  
"I'm not really hun..."  
  
Nick interupted her midsentance. "And don't tell me your not hungry. Your so skinny you can't be eating more then one meal a day and that's not good for you."  
  
Unable to refute his statement she had no choice but to agree.  
  
"Ok, whatever." She said as she began quickly and carefully packing away the evidence that had been spread across the table.  
  
When she was done she walked over and threaded her arm through Nick's. "Ok handsome--lets go" she said jokingly.  
  
********************  
  
They where alone in the breakroom--apparently the others had found something to occupy them. Munching on a doughnut, Sara poured copius amounts of suger into her coffee.  
  
"How can you drink it like that?" asked Nick with a disgusted look on his face. Nick drank his coffee black.  
  
"I like it this way," she replied with a smirk before dropping down next to him on the couch. It wasn't beautiful but at least it was comfortable she thought, letting out a sigh and sinking even deeper into the cushions.  
  
"Sara...." Nick began.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Why wont you tell me what's wrong?" He asked, his tone somewhere between hurt and sorrow. They where best friends and always told each other everything; he knew all about the situation with Grissom. What could be worse and why was she keeping it from him?  
  
"I was going to wait til tommorow to tell you but I geuss it doesn' make a difference." She paused to take a deep breath and continued. "I'm leaving."  
  
"WHAT?" Nick sprang up from the couch and stared at her.  
  
"Just what I said, I'm leaving. I've talked it over with Brass and he's already lined up a replacement." Her voice was calm and steady.  
  
"Your leaving for good?" He said his voice breaking slightly.  
  
"For good, you of all people should know how bad it's gotten Nicky."  
  
"Yeah, but I never thought it would go this far." He sighed and sat down on the edge of the coffee table facing her.  
  
Sara was surprised she had expected him to put up more of a fight, not that she was disapointed it was just so out of character for the normally flamboyant Texan.  
  
"Aren't you even going to try and convince me to stay?" She asked catiously.   
  
"Would it do me any good? Besides all I want is for you to be happy and I would have to be blind not to see that you aren't happy here anymore. I'll miss you." Nick sincerely meant everything he was saying but there was still a part of him that wanted to yell and scream and tell her that she couldn't leave them. Surpressing that urge he continued.  
  
"Have you told Grissom?"  
  
"Not yet. we're having breakfast after shift. I just.... Nick I gave up on hope a long time ago but, I can't leave without giving him one more chance, giving us one last chance." She wiped at her eyes--in spite of her efforts to control her emotions she couldn't stop the tears from spilling over.  
  
"I'll miss you too." Reaching out she pulled him to her in a tight hug.  
  
"Where are you going? Do you have another job to go to? You'll keep in touch?" Nick asked in rapid succesion.  
  
I don't have another job, I think I might go back to school for my PHD. But first I'm going to take a couple of months for myself, to try and distance myself from Vegas and from... other things. I can't tell you where I'm going. I know you wouldn't mean to but if I told you it would be all over this place within the week and I can't risk anyone coming after me. If I'm going to do this..."  
  
"Your going to need time," he finished for her. "I understand, but you'll get in touch when you can?"  
  
"It might be a month or even two, but you'll be the first person I call. I promise."   
  
Sara stared into his eyes and was saddened by the sorrow she saw there.   
  
"I need to ask you a big favor Nick." She said reaching out and taking his hand in hers.  
  
"Sure anything Sar, you know that."   
  
"Don't tell anyone until after I'm gone. You know how bad I am with goodbye's."   
  
"They'll be mad you know."  
  
Smiling in thanks, she responded "I know. They'll get over it."   
  
Behind them the door opened and Grissom walked into the breakroom.   
  
"They'll get over what?" he asked taking in the scene before him. Sara was cozyed up to Nick on the couch. They where holding hands. Why did it bother him? He wasn't quite sure, but somehow it still did.   
  
Standing huriedly Sara brushed his question off. "Nothing."  
  
Scowling at Nick who was still sitting on the coffee table he glanced at his watch, "Don't you two have work to do? There's still over an hour left of shift."  
  
Glaring hostilely at the man some considered a genius Nick responded angrily. "We where on break, since when is that against the law?"  
  
Realising that he had been wrong Grissom backed down. "You're right Nick. You have the right to take your breaks, whenever and with whomever you choose. Sorry." Turning, he exited the room. Forgeting about the coffee that had originaly drawn him there.  
  
Turning to Nick, Sara put her arms around his neck and held on tightly.  
  
"You understand why I can't let this go on," she stated.  
  
"Yeah, I do. Don't wait to long to get in touch ok?" he asked putting his arms around her and squeezing.  
  
She couldn't breath, but that was ok. It felt so good to be held and comforted by a friend. By someone who didn't want anything from her but her own happiness.  
  
"Only as long as it takes Nicky, only as long as it takes."   
  
**********************  
  
Sitting across the table from Sara, Grissom fidgeted with his coffee--wishing for once that he drank it with suger so that he would have something to do with his hands. They were nearly alone in the diner, which was not uncommon for the hour. After all, who wanted to be awake this time of the morning unless they had to be? Hell he didn't even want to be awake. If it wasn't for Sara he would be home, alone, asleep in his bed. Instead he was here having breakfast in the cheap restaurant around the corner from the CSI office.  
  
Sara opened her mouth to start speaking but closed it when she saw the waitress aproaching. She could have come straight out of the movies--tall, short skirt, big hair and gum. Blowing a bubble the waitress pulled a notepad out of her apron.  
  
"What can I get y'all?" She asked with a fake drawl.  
  
"Oh just the coffee for me," Sara responded, wrapping her hands around the warmth of the cup.  
  
"Your not going to eat?" Grissom asked disaprovingly. Like Nick, he too thought she was overly thin.  
  
"Oh I ate already, don't worry about me, go ahead and order." The truth was that she might have been hungry again had there not been a passel of frogs jumping around in her stomach.  
  
Without glancing at the menu Grissom placed his order with the impatient waitress.  
  
"I'll have scrambled eggs and toast."   
  
"Anything else?" There was a loud crack as another bubble burst.  
  
"No thank you," he replied.   
  
Waiting a few seconds for the waitress to leave the table Grissom studied his companion.  
  
"So Sara, what is it you need?"  
  
"I just need to know.... I need to know if there's any chance for us."  
  
"Us?" he asked incredulously, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.  
  
"Yes, US. You know you and me?"  
  
Sighing, Grissom braced himself. Why in the hell couldn't she just leave this alone? Why couldn't she just leave things the way they were. When she had first come to Vegas everything had been great. They could flirt and tease but it wasn't anything serious. Then she had started pushing for more. More attention? that he just couldn't give her. He was too old, too set in his ways; eventually she would get tired of him and leave. That was life. The Lurie case had brought it home to him.  
  
"Sara... " he began only to be interupted.  
  
Watching his face, she saw all she needed to know. He loved her, but he wasn't going to admit it. Especially not to her. She had wanted confirmation, and it was written all over his beautiful face.   
  
"Nevermind, I'm just being stupid again. There is no Us. I know that."   
  
Staring into his deep blue eyes for the last time she leaned across the table and gave him a sweet lingering kiss.  
  
While he was staring at her in shock she quickly gathered up her coat and purse. Brushing her hand over his cheek, Sara tried her best to memorize his face.  
  
"Goodbye Gil Grissom." This said softly, before she turned and walked away.  
  
She was already out the door and in her car by the time he recovered from his shock. She kissed me, he thought his mind going a mile a minute trying to process the unexpected sensation. It had sent a shock straight through him, it was a wonder he could think at all. All in all it had been one of the sweetest experiences of his life, but the way she said goodbye gave him an eerie feeling. It had sounded so...final. Shaking it off, Grissom looked up at the waitress as she placed his breakfast in front of him and removed Sara's cup from the table.  
  
"Thanks," he said picking up his fork. He put the first bite in his mouth, but suddenly he wasn't hungry anymore..  
  
*********************** 


	2. Left Behind

Read disclaimer CH1  
  
Part II - Left Behind  
  
The doorbell rang just as she finished taping up the last box. Stepping over several boxes marked dishes she made her way to the door. Glancing through the peephole she flipped the lock and opened the door.   
  
  
  
"Come on in," she said to the two men. They kind of reminded her of Mario and Luigi--she thought and had to force herself not to laugh. The first had to duck under the door jamb while the second barely came up to her shoulder.  
  
"You can take these boxes first and there's more in the bedroom. All the furniture stays except the bed. Thats it."   
  
"Ok Miss, we'll get started then."  
  
"Thanks," Sara said with a smile. She felt infinitely better now that she was doing SOMETHING. She had been living in limbo so long.... This would only provide a temporary high, but she was going to enjoy it while it lasted. Hopefully by the time the feeling wore off she would be far away from Las Vegas and all it's temptations. The plan was to get so far away that she wouldn't be able to rush back when the urge hit her. As she knew it inevitably would.   
  
Going to the dresser she began the last of her packing. These clothes where the only things going with her, the rest was on it's way to storage. Where it would stay until she figured out what she was going to do with her life. Pulling open the top drawer she began methodicaly transfering it's contents into her suitcase.   
  
By the time she was finished the movers where gone and so where the boxes that had blanketed the apartment. Her mail had been redirected and the phone disconected. All she had left was returning the keys to the landlord. Glancing around the empty bedroom she realised that she wasn't sad to be leaving the apartment. The walls where the same robins egg blue they had been when she moved in 3 years ago; she hated the color but had never gotten around to repainting it. The apartment came furnished so it wasn't even her own furniture. None of it bothered her because this had never been her home. It had just been a place to sleep.   
  
****************  
  
Grissom looked up when he heard the knock on his door. Expecting Sara he was surprised to see that it was Nick.  
  
"Yes?" he asked, wondering what the young man could possibly want.   
  
"Uh Griss I need to talk to you." Nick stutered, obviously nervous.  
  
Closing the folder in front of him Grissom leaned back in his chair and studied the man standing in his doorway.  
  
"Well have a seat then, what can I help you with?"  
  
Moving into the room Nick closed the door behind him and sat facing Grissom.   
  
"I don't need help with anything, I just thought that maybe I should tell you this before shift started." Nick said. Grissom could see that he was worried about something.  
  
"Well, what is it? Nick if you've done something......."  
  
"No no, it's not that. It's just. Griss Sara's gone." he finaly managed to spit out.  
  
"Gone how?" asked Grissom sitting up straight in his chair, a thousand scenarios running through his head, Sara in the hospita, Sara dead, Sara kidnapped....  
  
"She left, I just came from the airport."   
  
Dumbstruck Grissom stared at Nick. "Why? Where'd she go and when is she coming back?" Sara had obviously needed time off, but if she was taking a vacation why hadn't she told him?  
  
As if he someone had flipped a switch Nick jumped up from his chair. His body stiff with anger. How could he be so clueless?  
  
"Because of you! She left because of you!" he said pointing at Grissom "Can't you even see what you've done? I don't know where she went because she was afraid YOU would find out. I don't think she's coming back because she can't stand to be near YOU everyday. How can you sit there like all of this isn't your fault?"   
  
Sinking back into his chair stunned, Grissom tried to process everything he had just been told.  
  
His voice deadly quiet Nick drove his point home "Thats good. Think about it for awhile. You. Ruined. Her. Life. The only thing she ever wanted was you and you where just to damn selfish. Too afraid to give her a chance. There are worse things in life then death Griss." Turning his back on Grissom, Nick exited room, the door closing behind him with a soft click. Grissom would probably kill him later he thought but it would be a small price to pay for the satisfaction of seeing him experience a fraction of the pain he had inflicted on Sara.  
  
He should be angry, no one ever spoke to him that way, but he wasn't. Nick was absolutely right and in her own way so was Sara. Hadn't she said that by the time he figured "this" out he would be to late? Putting his head in his hands Grissom resisted the urge to weep.  
  
**********************  
  
That was how Brass found him when he entered the room 10 minutes later.   
  
"Ehem, Griss?"  
  
Looking up at Brass Grissom sat up straighter.  
  
"Yes?" he asked, wishing that the empty feeling inside of him would leave.  
  
"I take it you've already heard about Sara?" Brass asked catiously.  
  
"Am I the only person who didn't know?" He asked "I had breakfast with her this morning for godsakes and she didn't even tell me." He understood why of course. But still he had deserved to know and now he was one CSI short, what was he going to do?   
  
"Well if thats out of the way then" said Brass who was relieved that he hadn't had to break the news himself. "There's someone here I'd like you to meet." Leaning out the door he motioned to the woman waiting there.  
  
Forcing himself to get a hold on things Grissom stood and turned towards the door as a young waman entered.   
  
"Grissom this is Megan Lee, she'll be replacing Sara." He said motionining towards the petite blonde.   
  
"Megan, this is your new supervisor, Gil Grissom."  
  
Staring Grissom hoped his shock didn't show. Brass had known about Sara long enough to have aranged a replacement. No. Replacement was the wrong word no one could replace Sara, no one could take the place she had left behind. Leaning forward and he placed his hands on his desk for support. Was this some kind of conspiracy? or was the world just out to get him? Giving himself a mental shake he brought his mind back to the here and now.  
  
So this was the famous Gruesome Grissom she thought studying him. He was more then a little famous in the world of crime scene investigation. Moving a lab from fourteenth to second was an amazing feat. There was alot she could learn from this man and he was the why she had taken the job. Even though, it meant moving from Texas to Nevada. She had been looking forward to meeting him but, for some reason, she didn't think he had been expecting her.  
  
"It's an honor to meet you Mr. Grissom." She said extending her hand.   
  
Reaching out Grissom gave her hand a slight shake and said, in a voice that wasn't quite steady "Welcome to the LVPD Crime Lab Miss Lee."  
  
****************** 


	3. Arrival

****************  
  
Stepping out of the small 15 passenger plane, Sara made her way carefully down the long, narrow stairs. The airport was tiny, no more then a few hangers and a squat building that could have been the main terminal. Feeling terra firma under her feet Sara sent up a quick prayer of thanks. It wasn't that she had a problem with flying, she had just never flown in such a small plane before. Actually, she hadn't known a plane that small existed! She and the five other people had suffered through what seemed like an hour of nonstop turbulence. Granted she had been lucky to catch the flight, the weatherman had said something about snow tomorrow.  
  
Taking a deep breath Sara smiled. It had been worth it just to breath the air here. And the trees were huge and green. The airport sat right on the edge of a large forest. The sky was blue and the sun was shining. You would never believe that winter was right around the corner. Having lived first in San Francisco and then in Las Vegas she had never seen anything like it. This was just what she needed she thought to herself as she followed her fellow passengers into the building.   
  
After locating her luggage she sat down on a small bench to wait. She had flown first to Portland and then here, the middle of nowhere. Her final destination was Diamond Lake, where her friend Corinn owned a small cabin. That was in fact why she was sitting here waiting. Corinn was late. She looked up as the door opened but was disappointed when it was only an employee of the airport.  
  
That was assuming she would even recognize her old friend. She hadn't seen her since she moved to Oregon with her husband John. That was barely a year after they finished college. It was hard to believe Corinn was now a mother of four!   
  
As children they had made unlikely friends. Sara he'd been a tomboy in torn jeans and Corinn was always the girls girl who loved to wear frilly dresses and play with Barbie dolls. Somehow the friendship had survived and now Corinn was the only friend she had left from her childhood. Theirs was the kind of friendship that didn't care how long they were apart or how far away the other lived. They had always been there for each other. Wishing she could go back in time to when life had been simple, Sara smiled to herself.  
  
Reaching into her back pack she pulled out a brand new sci-fi by her favorite author. She had chosen it carefully. There was nothing to remind her of her old job or Grissom. No books on forensic science and definitely no magazines on entomology. She had decided on sci-fi rather then romance because well, romances where depressing. Especially when she had failed so badly at it herself.  
  
Sara opened the book to the first page and began to read. Half an hour later she closed it again sighing in frustration. It was impossible to concentrate. It was just too quiet. She was used to the noise of the lab. Greg's horrible music, people bustling from one place to another. The crime lab was almost never silent. Well Sara Ann your going to have to get used to it, she thought to herself.   
  
She was contemplating calling a cab, when finally Corinn blew in the door on a gust of wind.   
  
"Oh, Sara I'm soo sorry!!!!!" she was breathless. There was an accident on the highway traffic was stopped for and hour!!"  
  
Laughing, Sara got up and threw her arms around her friend.  
  
"My god, it's so good to see you!!" she said happily, tears filling her eyes as the years melted away. "You look better then ever. Is that allowed after you've had four kids?"   
  
Hugging Sara tight, Corinn laughed along with her. "It's good to see you too Sara! And what have you done to your hair? It's so short!"   
  
"Mine's short!?" Replied Sara reaching out to finger the boyish cut of Corinn's naturally blonde hair.  
  
"Ok not quite as short as mine, but it used to be so long. I cut mine out of self preservation, Becky, my third. Loves to pull hair, if she can reach it it's gone."  
  
"I can't wait to see them again. I haven't even met baby Dillon yet!"   
  
"She'll adore you, just like the other three! You'll never believe how Matt and Micheal have grown, and there's still no telling them apart!!"   
  
Just thinking about the antics of the seven year old twins brought a smile to her face. "Remember the last time I was here? They put that toy boat in the toilet?"  
  
"And flushed it, yes I remember. It was actually quite accurate except in the cartoon the boat doesn't get caught in the whirl pool!" The two friends collapsed against each other laughing hysterically. Anyone watching might have thought they were nuts, but luckily they were alone in the small waiting room.  
  
After recovering from the fit of laughter Corinn was all business except for the smile beaming from her face. "Now! Lets get your bags into the car before it starts raining," she said hefting the larger of Sara's two bags.  
  
"Raining? But the sun was shining less then an hour ago!" Sara had a hard time believing the weather could change that drastically as she reached for her other bag and her back pack.  
  
"Sara, if you don't like the weather in Oregon, wait a few minutes." Replied Corinn smiling over her shoulder as she pushed the door open.  
  
Sure enough the first sprinkles of rain landed on her nose as they finished loading her bags in the trunk.  
  
********************  
  
"Ok so here's the plan, I'm taking you up to the cabin tonight. You said you needed some time alone to think and that's the perfect place to do it. It's all stocked up on groceries and firewood. There's John's old SUV for you to use if you need it. The nearest town is about half an hour away. There's a grocery store, a gas station, and a couple of restaurants--not what your used to I'm afraid."  
  
Flipping on her blinker and pressing the gas pedal Corinn quickly and efficiently passed a small white car.  
  
"Grandma. " She muttered to herself. "You know one thing I'll never get used to are Oregon drivers? Their just so law abiding and nice. Driving in California is a cut throat business! Here it's like, 'Oh did you need to be in this lane? Be my guest,' and their so slow too! I mean why go 60 when 70 will get you there faster?"  
  
"Well it's a relief after Vegas. It's a madhouse and I'm not just talking about driving. Some of the things I've seen these last three years........."  
  
"Lemme guess, I don't want to know?" Corinn said, making no secret of the fact that she found Sara's job disturbing.  
  
"You definitely don't want to know," laughed Sara, watching out the window as Corinn passed another car. She knew most people would have been terrified by now, but after growning up in California she wasn't easily scared.  
  
"Thanks again for letting me use your cabin Cor. I really need this time to get away, get some perspective."  
  
"Hey I'm not using it. At least someone will have some good out of it. We were there over the 4th so everything should still be in working order. You shouldn't have any problems. There's no telephone as you know. The nearest one is at the lodge, which is about a 10 minute drive. If you need to use the internet there's always the library in town."  
  
"It's perfect for when the 'oh shit I've fucked up' feeling hits."  
  
"What's that?" asked Corinn returning her attention to Sara.  
  
"You know when you do something, but it doesn't really hit you until a couple of days later. I needed to get out of Vegas but any minute now I'm going to realize what I've done and beg you to take me back to the airport. Then I'll have to beg for my job back and tell Grissom...... Well you get the idea."  
  
"Yeah I get it. Don't worry Sara your doing the right thing, and I'm always here if you need me." Taking a hand off the wheel, Corinn reached out and squeezed her friend's hand.  
  
*******************  
  
"Ok, your all set!" Dusting her hands off, Corinn stood looking proudly at her handiwork. A fire was now crackling merrily on the small hearth.  
  
"It's kind of primitive, but I like it," said Sara ,stretching her hands appreciatively towards the flames.  
  
"Sara I hate to say it, but I really should get going. John's probably going crazy by now. He loves the kids, but... he's still a man."  
  
Laughing, Sara pulled her friend in for a hug. "I understand."  
  
"Don't forget that you promised to stop by and see the kids before you head home!" Corinn pulled away wiping the tears from under her eyes. "I really wish I could stay.........."  
  
"Me too, maybe after I've put some of the pieces back together. Ok?"  
  
Understanding her friends need for solitude, Corinn nodded. Standing on tiptoe she gave Sara a kiss on the cheek.   
  
"Talk to you later!" She said smiling unconvincingly.  
  
"I'm fine don't worry, now get home to your family." Sara commanded while pushing Corinn towards the door of the cabin. Standing on the small porch she waved as she watched her friend drive away. And then, for the first time in a long while Sara was truly alone.   
  
  
  
It was a strange feeling to know that she was the only person for miles around. In Las Vegas it seemed like you were always surrounded; then again it was just as easy to be alone and surrounded by people as it was to be by yourself. 


End file.
